Grooming by sexual predators happens every single day. In fact, it has been documented that there are an estimated 500,000 online predators active each and every day. That means that when your child wakes up early in the morning or stays up late at night to play video games, they may come in contact with an online predator.
Children between the ages of 12 and 15 are especially susceptible to being groomed by an online predator.
According to the F.B.I., over 50 percent of the victims of online sexual exploitation are between the ages of 12 and 15.
To know if your child is being groomed by an online predator, it is important to know what online grooming is.
What is online grooming?
Online grooming is when a sexual predator makes and continues contact with a child online. They lure children in by using fake profile photos and starting a conversation with them through chats.
- First, they will find something that they have in common with the child to establish a relationship.
- They will continue communication by offering the child complements to make them feel good about themselves and to feel safe talking to them.
- In video games, they may offer to help them in the game or offer them free in-game currency or items in the game.
- Once they have established a relationship and they trust the predator, the groomer will begin to turn the conversation to sex and pressure the child to send them sexual images or videos of themselves.
- The cycle continues when the predator threatens to blackmail the child if the child tries to say no or wants to stop sending the photos and videos.
Is your child being groomed by a sexual predator?
Things to look out for:
It can be very challenging to know if your child is being groomed by a sexual predator, especially without additional supports like Kidas. From the statistics available, almost half of the children who have been groomed online haven’t spoken about it, however this is a difficult thing to measure. While it can be very difficult to know if your child is being groomed by an online predator, these are some things to look out for:
- If your child wants to spend more time than usual on the internet or playing video games, this is something look out for. While they may be excited about a new game or something innocent, take the time to investigate what they are doing and who they are playing with.
- Is your child being secretive about what they are doing and who they are speaking to? This is something to take added interest in. Your child should be comfortable telling you what they are doing online and who they are speaking with. If they aren’t, the alarm bells should go off for you. Sit down and have an open conversation about what your child is doing online, who they are speaking with and the risks of speaking with people and sharing personal information.
- If your child is using sexual language that your child wouldn’t or shouldn’t know, ask why. While your children will learn new sexual terms among their friends or TV shows, be aware of the sexual language they are using. Is is age appropriate or completely inappropriate? Discuss sexual language with your child and ask where they are learning these types of terms. If you child is using sexual language that is surprising, use it as an opportunity to learn more about where they are learning the language to ensure you aren’t missing something that is going on online.
- Be on alert if you child is frequently changing tabs or screens when they are online. If your child is doing something online that they don’t want you to see, you can expect them to get out of the window as quickly as possible when you walk by their computer.
- Has your child’s mood changed or have them become more volatile? Being sexually groomed is a very scary experience for many. While at first the child may feel flattered by the compliments, they likely will feel scared, taken advantage of and upset. Pay close attention to their mood and try to determine what has brought on the change.
What to do if your child has been groomed by a Sexual Predator
If you find out that your child has been groomed by a sexual predator, you need to take action. Do not ignore that this has happened. It will be a difficult time for both you and your child so you should seek guidance and support as soon as you find out something has happened.
While you will want to put this behind you as quickly as possible, it is important that you find out who your child has been talking to. Speak to your child, and if your child is unable to share these details with you for whatever reason, speak to your child’s friends, teachers or anyone else who might know who they have been speaking with. The more you can document the better. Do not delete any conversations without screen shotting them. You need the evidence to use to report them. Ensure to include their username and time stamps.
When you find out who your child has been speaking to, report the predator. The FBI is keen on finding these predators in order to make them stop. It is a crime to engage in this behavior with children. Your local authorities will be able to help you report this information to the right people. Once you have reported this information, follow the advice and direction of the law enforcement.
Should you find yourself in this situation, take care of yourself and your child. Seek counselling to deal with the trauma and help your child to feel supported. Explain that this is not their fault and that you are there to keep them safe.
Conclusion
In conclusion, there are very scary and dangerous people lurking in your child’s video games. Do your best to keep your children safe, keep the lines of communication open with your child and explain the risks of talking to strangers. Remind them, that if people want to chat with them in a private chat room or if they are asking a lot of personal questions, they should be concerned.
Most gamers just want to game, they don’t want to get to know your child on a deep personal level and they don’t want pictures of them.