Toxic Gaming Behavior: Flaming

What is Flaming?

Flaming is displaying hostility towards other players in a game by insulting, swearing, or using otherwise offensive language towards them.

Recommendations: 

Age 6-9

  • Let them know that it’s okay to have some playful “trash talk” in games, but KIDAS alerts them when words become too aggressive. Give examples: “Saying ‘You’re bad at this!’ can hurt someones feelings, but saying ‘Let’s see what you’ve got!’ keeps it fun.
  • Talk about the difference between playful and mean words. For example, Saying ‘You’re terrible’ is hurtful, but ‘Nice try’ is a more friendly way to keep playing.
  • Encourage focusing on success and level up in the game.
  • Let them know that if they feel frustrated or heated, they can take a break, mute the game, or play something else to feel better.
  • Sometimes violent games can make trash talk worse. Encourage trying different games or finding positive friends to play with.
  • Explain that if they use hurtful words, other players may react. Remind them that it’s okay to apologize.

Age 10-12

  • Let them know that KIDAS flags aggressive trash talk. Give examples, like “You suck” which is mean, compared to “Is that all you got?”.
  • Explain that you know kids their age are using trash talk as part of the game but that there’s a difference between playful and hurtful language. 
  • Encourage them to put energy into getting even better, rather than trash-talking.
  • Tell them they can cool down if they are upset by another player’s words. Taking a break or muting the player can help, but fighting back will not calm the situation. 
  • Sometimes violent games can make trash talk worse. Encourage trying different games or finding positive friends to play with.
  • Help them understand that the other player is a person just like them, with feelings that can be hurt, even if they don’t see them face to face.

Age 13 – 18

You can say: “We know that sometimes intense games can bring out toxic language, and as teens, you might hear or see some harsh words. Remember, keeping the gaming environment positive makes it more fun for everyone. When others use toxic language, you don’t have to match it. Showing respect and staying cool is a true power move. By focusing on the game, you can set a great example and make the game fun and friendly”.